I faked it, I faked life, I faked me. Why? because I didn't know any better, I didn't know another way until I discovered it for myself.
I did my best to be the image of the person who was loveable and acceptable (aka the socially accepted as attractive woman, not too sexy, not too boring, not too loud, not too quiet, not too opinionated yet confident, mixed with 100% people pleaser. That’s what everyone likes right?)
To top off it off, I was working as a food scientist in a lab, flavouring food with chemicals to trick people into thinking they were eating the real thing. I created fake garbage food and I felt like garbage.
The day I found myself napping in my car at lunch time because I felt so sick was the day I decided I couldn't do it anymore, something clicked, I heard my soul speak telling me, I had to make a change.
I quit the job, I followed my intuition and it opened to me, I finally got it, I could do what my heart desired! It was my choice… period.
Why do we pretend? why do we be who we think we should be rather than who we want to be?
I believe its because we want to be loved, since the moment were born, we need it, we must have it to survive, we will do anything to get it and we think we need to be a certain way to get it.
When we change who we are to try and get love, were ironically creating layers of disconnection to the love within for ourselves.
So I faked it and then I broke it, all those damn layers of disconnection to the real me inside, some layers hard and stubborn, some layers fine and brittle.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn't shift my thoughts, emotions and beliefs overnight, it took me YEARS to fully love and accept who I am regardless. I kept coming back to what was loving to me, I realised that I couldn’t connect with people if they were being fake & I couldn’t expect them to feel connection to me or to feel connection to myself!
I’m my number 1 fan now but I still have moments of doubt, sabotage, fear, shame, discontentment but the difference is I know that its not who I am, its just how I temporarily feel about me.
To know your worth and feel it more often than not takes determination, skill and commitment.
Three ways to let go of who you think you should be and embrace who you are:
I believe that you have the power to live the most incredible life possible. I know that my experience and skills allow me to help others break through their own barriers to loving themselves, following their intuition and embracing change.
I’ve seen it, every week I see the change that happens when you connect with your soul and whats true for you!
Faking is hard work! its exhausting! being you & following your soul gives you energy, it lightens you.
Lighten up with a kinesiology session!
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Hope to see you in person soon!
Photo by Kristina V on Unsplash